The sadness in our office is palpable.
Our leadership team spent yesterday morning telling staff as they arrived to work about the sudden death of one of our co-workers over the weekend. As leaders, there are many things we need to communicate. In my experience, no message has been more difficult to deliver than having to tell of the passing of a 32 year old, positive, inspirational woman, who also happened to also have muscular dystrophy.
Yesterday, we spent a lot of time just being available; talking to people, patting them on the back, giving hugs, passing tissues, and providing the space for people to share how they felt about Julie. No one needed to apologize for tears; they were simply evidence of what a caring and compassionate people we are.
Today, flexibility is the rule.
We are providing the opportunity for as many staff as would like to, to have time off to go to visitation hours. A smaller group of her closer co-worker friends and our leadership team are also attending Julie’s funeral tomorrow. Her desk has been transformed into a memorial of sorts, covered with bouquets of flowers. It will be cleaned up over the weekend so her family can pick up all of her belongings but, for now, it is what the team seems to need.
Our company is matching employee contributions to the family’s selected charity. We have invited the staff to put their thoughts into words on paper so we can assemble a memory gift for Julie’s family. Some people are digging up pictures that were taken of her as she received quality awards, or as she enjoyed department and team activities. We want to help her family remember their wonderful daughter as the inspiration she was to all of us. We also want our employees to have a means of expressing how they feel as everyone is simply doing their best to get through this time.
As leaders, we must recognize that everyone deals with death differently.
Some people reacted emotionally as soon as they heard the news. Others couldn’t wait to get out of the room and emote in private. Still others are simply sharing stories of joy this friend brought to us. And others grieve in complete privacy. Everyone, perhaps inspired by Julie’s commitment and excellence in spite of her physical challenges, is continuing to do their work.
As Dawn Rosenberg McKay wrote in this article, there isn’t any bereavement leave for the death of a co-worker. The reminder of the loss is constant; an empty desk, a change in routine or workflow, coming across a file she worked on. At the same time, the business of the workplace cannot simply stop. However, leaders must acknowledge that there is a loss and we need to help our people deal with that loss. This series of articles provides great information to help leaders deal with death in the workplace. Death is often treated as a taboo subject, even though it is a very real part of life, even life in the workplace.
How have you helped your team deal with death in the work family?
--------------------------------------------------------------
Eleanor Biddulph is the Executive Vice President of Client Services
at Progressive Medical, Inc.
She can be reached at [email protected]
Image Source: bereavement-hypnotherapylondon.co.uk
Eleanor:
Your story really touched my heart. I have had multiple occasions where we lost a co-worker, some suddenly to an accident some over time to an illness.
I have always believed that management exists to make sensible exceptions to sound policies. We decide whether bereavement or family leave applies.
As an HR executive I approved leave for one of my employees to be at her fathers bedside when he was dying of cancer- in 1989.
I approved leave for others to attend the funerals of family friends and the people who “raised” them who didn’t qualify as “family”.
Policy has its place, but we lead and work with people and relationships. Hiding behind “policy” in my mind is a form of cowardice.
I wrote my first book last year titled “Managing Whole People”, I guess that says it all.
Mark – Thank you for stopping by L2L and commenting on my post. There are two statements in your response that grabbed my attention: “…management exists to make sensible decisions to sound policies” and “Hiding behind ‘policy’ in my mind is a form of cowardice.” So much wisdom in your words, I want to draw attention to them!