A colleague of mine tells a story of a martial arts training that he conducted for a Special Forces unit of the United States military. He had worked with this group of very tough men before so they knew each other well. On this particular day, our colleague showed up to the training wearing a pink shirt. This visibly affected one of the participants. In fact, the participant was so taken aback by the pink shirt that he began voicing comments about how the shirt was inappropriate, why the instructor should change his shirt, etc. To which our colleague – a sixth degree black belt in Aikido – looked at him straight in the eye and quietly replied: “Is that all it takes to knock you off center?”
The above story illustrates how martial arts training has both an exterior and an interior. On the outside, we practice skills, technique, movement, and balance. On the inside, however, we look at beliefs, values, principles, and judgments that are equally important in helping us to remain centered. How many times have other people’s words or actions caused a reaction in us that lingers far longer than it should?
To what extent does taking offense or feeling resentful impact our peacefulness, our productivity, and ultimately, our happiness?
If you find yourself investing in anger, resentment, jealousy, indignation, etc, ask yoursekf this: “What is the payoff for this investment?”
The following paragraphs describe an internal practice for quickly regaining center when life throws us a curve ball.
Consider this simple exercise:
“Everybody is doing the best that they can all of the time.” Do you agree or disagree?
We’ve asked this question of hundreds of participants and roughly half agree whereas the other half doesn’t.
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Imagine now a seed containing certain genetics inside. We plant the seed in soil with certain characteristics. The soil is subjected to a certain amount of sunlight, rainfall, and environmental conditions. Regardless of genetics, or soil characteristics, or conditions, we’ve never seen a tree not grow as tall and strong as it possibly can – given the conditions available to it. We’ve never seen a tree go half way!
Here, then, we make a philosophical leap and declare: human beings are the same way. We’re born with certain genetics, parents, family members, life conditions, etc. Regardless of what they are, however, we declare that at any instant in time, a human being is doing the very best that he or she can given their intelligence, education, skills, life experiences, emotional state, level of rest or exhaustion, etc. How could we not?
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The above, of course, is not the truth. It’s a philosophy. The exercise really illustrates a distinction that many people collapse: an individual’s potential vs. what they’re able to do in the moment.
Human beings have unlimited potential, however, what they’re able to do in the moment is impacted by many factors. Nevertheless, accepting that philosophy has an advantage. When we experience someone’s transgression and we recognize that they’re doing their best, we become more aware of our judgments.
For example, when a colleague lets us down for the third time this year, we could rant, threaten, shake our fists at fate, and work ourselves into a frenzy. However, why raise our blood pressure or position ourselves for a heart attack?
Instead, we can remind ourselves that they’re doing the best that they can all of the time. This usually stops the judgment. Then, from a more centered perspective, we can examine the situation, apply any necessary consequences (this is important), and take a more empowering path. Here’s a bonus: this technique also applies to our own transgressions!
I invite you to practice “everybody is doing the best that they can all of the time” throughout your day. Repeat the phrase to yourself when a crazy driver cuts you off in traffic or a co-worker makes an insensitive remark. If they had your intelligence, education, skills, sensitivity, and restful night’s sleep, then they probably could have done better. But they didn’t, so they don’t. Now, calmly, assess the situation, apply any necessary consequences, and improve on the present.
How do you apply the principles of Peaceful Productivity in your workplace? What is something that worked well for you?
-------------------------------------------------------------- David Vittoria is the Founder & Chief Inspiration Officer at Ascendi. You can reach him at [email protected].
Image Source: btr.michaelkwan.com
