This week L2L is bringing you the Top 10 most popular blog posts over the last year. Enjoy and Share!
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Leadership and Four-letter Words (Top #6)
Words matter.
Mark Twain once said,
“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
This truth is as important to leaders as it is to writers.
Leaders must appreciate the fact that the words they use will influence the words that their team uses.
And the words used by anyone will influence behaviors and actions.
Inclusive words can form a bond and bring people together. These are words like: we, team, together, support, empower. At the same time, divisive words can separate, segregate, and build barriers between people and teams.
Leaders set the example for things expected and tolerated, in both words and behaviors.
Sam Walton, founder of the Walmart department store chain, said,
“It takes employees about two weeks to start treating customers the way they are being treated.”
The same is said about the kind of words that leaders use. But it probably takes less than 2 weeks to impact behaviors.
Anyone who has been in any kind of leadership role can probably testify to the barriers that often form between people and teams. These barriers get in the way of effectively completing the team’s objective. And it is these barriers that often take up much of the leader’s time and effort.
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Dropping the T-Bomb
The Nasty Four-Letter Word
Thinking of these barriers brings to light a nasty, four-letter word that can describe, and is often the source of, most problems with any team barrier: T-H-E-Y.
How often have you heard team members say “THEY don’t understand our needs?”
How often have professionals in your organization say, “THEY don’t know how to communicate?”
THEY is one of the most divisive words used by any member of a team, particularly by a leader. It creates a mysterious, nameless, faceless enemy that is somehow controlling your world. More divisively, it creates an antagonistic environment where you and your teams have to work.
Once anyone starts to use the term THEY, of course there must be someone THEY are competing against. And that someone is, of course, US. There can’t be one without the other, whether it is implied or explicitly stated. And as soon as the competition betweenUS and THEM is introduced, you will be spending more of your leadership time addressing relationship tension than you will be actually delivering results.
The message to all Leaders out there is, yes, words matter.
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Solution Set
You can do something about it!
Fortunately, you can do something about the mysterious “THEY” and prevent this issue from thwarting your valiant efforts as a change agent. The first step is to understand that YOU are part of “they.” You have more control over what is happening around you than anyone else.
You can break down the barriers, starting with those which are right next to you.
To do this, you need to do four things:
- Alignment: Make sure everyone who works for you and around you is focused on working towards the same goal. There can be no tolerance for hidden agendas. That simply wastes resources and energy. Did you know the only difference between a laser and an incandescent light is FOCUS? And with the right amount of focus, that laser can cut through almost anything.
- Know yourself: Be honest with yourself and understand your strengths and limitations and your preferred method of operating. Just as important, understand those things you aren’t particularly good at or don’t like to do. It takes real self-awareness but this is essential.
- Know your partners: Just as with knowing yourself, understand the strengths, preferences, and limitations of those with whom you are working.
- Take the first step: Do something bold. Do something for others. “THEY” starts with you. If you don’t like them then start by looking in the mirror. If “THEY” don’t understand something, make sure you do (See #2). Then make sure that you are explaining it to your team in ways that they will get it (See #3). If “THEY” aren’t partnering well, then make sure you rise above the conflict and become the best partner imaginable.
Do yourself and those you lead a favor: ban that four-letter word. You’ll be amazed what a difference that will make. Do these four things and you will be prepared for greater success.
Do you have a problem use the “THEY-word” too much? Do members of your team also suffer from this foul-mouthed language problem? Do you sometimes wish that simply washing people’s mouth out with soap would solve the problem? Or are you up for the challenge of cleaning up your workplace and making it nice and tidy for everyone? I’d love to hear your perspective.
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David Hasenbalg is President and COO of Customized Solutions, LLC
He helps individuals and organizations achieve their objectives and their potential
Email │ LinkedIn │Twitter │Web │Blog
Image Sources: farm1.static.flickr.com, bourneinstyle.com
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The Best of L2L Blogazine 2009-2010 #5
Managing Mondays: Dealing with Team Conflict
“That’s it! I’ve had it!”
“I can’t take it any more!”
“I’m going to give him a piece of my mind!”
But no…wait! Conflict is manageable.
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Conflict Management: How To
It’s impossible to avoid conflict when you have a team of people collaborating on a project. Typically, this is caused when one person challenges the ideas, choices, or actions of another. When people work together they must learn how to resolve disagreements if they want to be successful in their vision.
The first golden rule is to stick to what you really know. And that is this:
Focus on your own reaction to the behavior in question; Not your interpretation of the other person’s motives or character.
Let’s start first with what causes conflict. Conflicts can arise for a variety of reasons, some common causes are:
- When we do not listen carefully to what is being said, “the content” and how it is being said, “the emotion.”
- When we don’t clarify what it is we are trying to communicate.
- A result of situational stress.
- When expectations are not met in some form.
- A result of personal betrayals.
- When there are differences in personalities.
- Due to daily annoyances.
- Because minor disputes have been allowed to intensify.
- If someone feels vulnerable.
What are some other common causes you have encountered?
If we do not recognize these situations promptly they will escalate and before long lead to:
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~ A loss of communication
~ Increased mistakes
~ A reduction in effectiveness and workflow
~ Low morale
~ Lost customers
~ Increased turnover
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What other issues could arise?
“A problem well stated is a problem half solved” – Charles F. Kettering
So what do we have to do to resolve the situation?
- First, everyone must be calm before you can begin to settle a conflict so allow them ample time to cool off.
- Privately gather each individual’s interpretations for the cause of events.
- Discuss the problem with the group and make certain all parties are speaking of the same issue.
- In order to get to the core of the problem each person should attempt to clearly identifying their issues.
- People like to feel a part of the solution so in the next step you will need to help them refocus on the resolution rather than the problem. Doing this allows them ownership in the outcome.
- Outline a plan letting everyone know the progress and the resolution.
Squint With Your Ears
As a mediator you will need to:
- Keep the group focused on resolving the conflict.
- Be respectful of all involved and demand respect as the intermediary.
- Assist in lessening personal grievances and preclude defensive behaviors.
- When challenged, and you will be, remain calm and refocus the group on the resolution process.
- Don’t get irritated and don’t apologize; doing so will only deteriorate your position as the leader.
- Do not conclude without a resolution in place the group can agree upon.
- Finally, the leader must insist each member of the group implements their part in the resolution as determined by the group.
Let’s face it, dealing with conflict is never easy but it is necessary and cannot be avoided. To gain the trust, respect and admiration of your team you must address it head on in a calm, focused and professional manner. As you work through these situations you will continue to grow as a confident and capable leader.
Tell us about some of your conflict resolution stories. Are there some problems that just cannot be solved?
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Jason Christensen is National Accounts Manager at Milwaukee Electric Tool
He is an expert in managing virtual teams and loves steamed broccoli
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Image Sources: logoncafe.net, peakperformanceconsulting.ca
