Part 1 of 2 – “Managing” or “Leading” Your Expectations
[Note: This article talks about a very narrow aspect of personal leadership effectiveness: Leading one’s own expectations about their personal life. This doesn’t cover leading the expectations of others or anything else (as that’s a whole other topic….)]
I am sure that you are probably familiar with the phrase and concept of “managing your expectations.” This concept has to do with understanding your present reality and understanding what your expectations are in relation to the facts on the ground.
Have you heard of “Leading Your Expectations?”
This concept is much more proactive than “managing your expectations.” It is about casting a personal vision for success and following it. It is about getting a grip on your reality, getting a grip on your expectations, and making conscious decisions to keep the two in sync on a personal level.
When there is a gap between your reality and your expectations, that is where we can feel ((((((stress)))))). When your gut holds on to concepts and feelings like “THINGS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!!!!” and you do not change either the reality or expectations related to the issue at hand, you will inevitably suffer from stress. It can be in a mild form of stress that can be a positive motivator for you, or it can put you in the hospital emergency room thinking that you are suffering from a heart attack.
Remedy
Here is the key to reducing your personal ((((((stress)))))) in your life by taking a leadership role with regard to your reality and your expectations. I call this “Flexpectations.” The first step is a healthy check on your personal reality.
Step 1 – Doing a RealityCheck (View instrument below)
- Define the personal issue that is causing you stress. Write it down specifically.
- List 3 doable options for solving the issue. List them as options “A”, “B” and “C”. Again, be specific with the potential solutions.
- Write down 3 “pros” for each option
- Write down 3 “cons” for each option
- Review your options, weigh them, and see which one speaks to your gut
- Select one option (Yikes!!) and assign a “complete by date.” Sign and date the document as if it where a legal contract.
- Post that document in visible place and work on it vigorously until completion.
Doing the reality check will really help you clear up the foggy, indecisive gray areas in your life and help you set a new trajectory that will help bring you peace, lower your stress, and align your daily efforts with your gut instincts.
Download the form below in MSWord format. Complete the steps 1-5. Print it; Sign it; Post it; Do it! You will be very proud of yourself!
Of course, this may be impossible to do if you cannot quickly adjust your expectations to this new personal reality trip that you have discovered. Much of the time we all cling on to our expectations so habitually and with so much effort that we cannot see the trees for the forest. Unfortunately, this lack of picking a new path will hold us in a stress pattern until we decide to change.
So what does one do?
Stay tuned for part 2 of “Managing” or “Leading” Your Expectations so that you can see how you might tackle the harder issue of Leading your Expectations.
Download the form above in MSWord format to complete it.
