Leadership Follies – Someday One Day

Are there things in your life you have left undone? Do you regret not trying out something new?  Are there times that conversations take too long to be had?

As I helped decorate my daughter’s room for a birthday celebration, reflecting on her age reminded me of how old I really am. It strangely occurred to me that I am the father of a 16-year old.  This got me thinking back to when I was sixteen. I wondered what had I thought my life would be like at age 37?  Were there things that I wanted to do, but didn’t?  Were there conversations that I should have had, but failed to initiate? Did I live a life of regret?

Well, I am very pleased to say that my life has turned out great to this point. I am very blessed and very thankful.  I would never have thought I’d be blessed enough to have the family, the friends or the career that I do. I have made plenty of poor decisions along the way, but I have made many great ones, too. On the whole, I have been decisive and things have worked out okay.

But in comparison to many I have worked with and led over the years, I have seen many people miss out on many things because of putting off decision-making.

I have lost count of the times I have heard or said – “Someday I will” or “One day such-and-such will happen.”

To Be or Not to Be

It made me think of an opportunity that I have just been presented.  I weighed the opportunity with my typical criteria:

• It is something that I have always wanted to do.
• It makes good financial sense.
• And it would be a great way for me to help others.

Despite passing through my normal decision filters, I did not say yes to this opportunity.  I wanted to wait to think about it.  I wanted to weigh my options more and would make my decision some day in the very near future.  As I contemplated this opportunity, I could hear my father in my mind asking me

“So when is this magical “some day”?

Analysis Paralysis – How to get Unstuck

best time to make a decision or a tough conversation is now.  There is something to be said about careful planning.  But, too much planning can turn decision into regret.  The problem is the number of choices available and the methods to analyze them can paralyze instead of making choosing easier.

According to Barry Schwartz, the author of The Paradox of Choice , there is a tendency to over analyze due to too many choices.  “We have become a victim of spending too long making choices that will not make a big impact on our lives.” (When you have 19 minutes, check out this great explanation on video from Barry)

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The growing trend is to think more and act less.  It is good to be thoughtful, but let’s be honest…

“We wouldn’t do half the things we do in life if we knew what we were getting into!” – Anonymous

Regret of past failure, fear of change, questions about outcomes all play into our hesitations.

My father did not have the benefit of our current knowledge of the brain and other breakthroughs.  But he had a few key tactics to get more out of life, move on and regret less.  I did not realize how smart he was because recent literature supports his simple but effective technique.

1. Act on what you feel based on what you know

Although he says it much more eloquently, Malcom Gladwell, in his book Blink supports this theory that my dad used.  Essentially, once mastery is gained in a particular area of knowledge/experience decisions can be made without analyzing extensively.  Experts can make snap decisions and are right a vast majority of the time.  Therefore, people should rely on this “gut” instinct.  It is not a guess, but a practiced and trained reaction.  I like to think of it much like a master of martial arts acts when being attacked.  When faced with a situation, there is only action.  Taking action alleviates the dreaded analysis paralysis

2. Decide, and then act as if you could not fail.

Interestingly, the most successful people make decisions quickly and change them slowly. They persist with the decisions they have made. However, failures are very slow to make any decision at all (most never make any), and they change the ones they have made very rapidly indeed.

3. Once a choice is made, let it be (unless it truly hurts others.)

Make choices or decisions as permanent as possible.  .   There is nothing worse than someone who constantly goes back and forth after each decision.  There will always be another opportunity to choose again.

4. Be active

According to many experts one key to staying mental fit, not being depressed and making the most out of every opportunity is simple – stay active.  In John Medina’s recent book, Brain Rules, one the twelve keys to a healthy brain is activity – physical exertion, social interactivity, learning, teaching, etc. As strange as this may sound, if you are active you are more likely to make better decisions, communicate clearly, handle conflict more effectively and have an overall better outlook on life.

5. Be grateful for what you have

As a former Catholic schoolboy, I remember distinctly having to give thanks for what we had in front of us.  Almost every religious book encourages it’s readers to be grateful for what they have.  There are many great tales of why being grateful is beneficial to being happy.

Watching my beautiful wife hang colorful birthday streamers, I thought time goes by quickly.  In order to get the most out of life it is important to act.  It is as true for leaders as it is for fathers/mothers.

“What’s on your mind?” She asked.

“I am just trying to make a good decision about this opportunity.”

“Tell me about it.” She said

As I related the details, it quickly became clear to me that I was hesitating for no good reason.  My wife finally told me in her own special way –

“Piss or get off the pot, but we have to finish these decorations.  You know the right thing to do.”

I did and I acted.  Do I have regrets?  Sure I do, but at least of have the regrets of trying and failing instead of the regret of never trying at all.

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Anil Saxena is President of cube214 Consulting.
He can be reached at [email protected]

Image Source: zazzle.com, lifecoachexpert.co.uk, nickcresswell.co.uk,